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1. |
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we've been here too long
even words have started to sound wrong
the sun never goes down it burns our skin
we're stuck here and can only leave in dreams
the shadows whisper that they know our sins
and when I cut bread for breakfast it screams
[chorus]
(so) please don't come to the Hellmouth
you don't know the pain and fear
the demons from your nightmares
all live here
so don't come to the Hellmouth
not if you have a choice
turn back now and run away
pray you don't hear its voice
x2
only the damned live here
but together we will persevere
if I forget to clean my walls with bleach
they grow rows upon rows of mouths and screech
the beans that flood the streets used to be bugs
no matter where we are we feel the tug
[chorus]
you are not welcome here
we are not welcome here
[until bored]
stay away and don't come close
out of reason or out of fear
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2. |
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Weary wanderer
When your limbs can carry you no longer
Know the Tug that you feel is so much stronger
Than the warnings ringing up and down your spine
Can you hear it?
A desert song reverberating through your spirit
A voice that whispers in the wind "Don't you fear it,
You know it in your bones that you are mine"
When all about you reel the shadows and the songs of desert shades
Stare into the Sun
Wherever you may roam
Feel it calling you home
Despite the mounting danger
Stare into the Sun
Let its fire fill you
And whatever doesn't kill you
Only makes you stranger
Distant laughter
Swallowed by the sand the footsteps fall much faster
On your tongue the taste of ash and what comes after
Reunited with what pulses beneath
So we are bound
The bitter, blinding desert skitters at the sound
In its unrelenting warmth we are Found
And defiant we will show the gods our teeth
Though we stride into the light the heavy feeling never fades
Stare into the Sun
Wherever you may roam
Feel it calling you home
Despite the mounting danger
Stare into the Sun
Let its fire fill you
And whatever doesn't kill you
Only makes you stranger
Endless days have I known
In the dark we still dream of the dawn
When the sun's burning low
With the embers of those who are gone
We put our uniforms on
Stare into the Sun
Wherever you may roam
Feel it calling you Home
Despite the mounting danger
Stare into the Sun
Let its fire fill you
Whatever doesn't kill you
Only makes you stranger
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3. |
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I always bet on the Shoe Thieves
It really gives me kicks
And I'm not sure if I believe
Unlimited Tacos exists
So if you hear this today
I wanna hear you say
Whose kicks?
OUR KICKS!
Whose kicks?
OUR KICKS!
Give us your shoes
Whose kicks?
OUR KICKS!
Whose kicks?
OUR KICKS!
Give us your shoes
The Charleston Shoe Thieves are the best team
In the entire splort (The Commissioner is doing a great job)
So if the shoe fits you must steal it
And if it doesn't fit too of course (steal those shoes, woo!)
We are all love Blaseball
So let me hear your face call
Whose kicks?
OUR KICKS!
Whose kicks?
OUR KICKS!
Give us your shoes
Whose kicks?
OUR KICKS!
Whose kicks?
OUR KICKS!
Give us your shoes
Give us your shoes
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4. |
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Fight the gods,
They don't know who they're facing,
We'll steal their Shoes,
Give them a taste of their own delacing
Fight the gods,
They don't know who they're facing,
We'll steal their Shoes,
Give them a taste of their own delacing
And whether we win
Or whether we lose,
Yeah whether we win, or whether we lose,
Give us your Shoes
Whose Kicks? Our Kicks!
Whose Kicks? Our Kicks!
Whose Kicks? Our Kicks!
Whose Kicks? Our Kicks!
Whose Kicks? Our Kicks!
Whose Kicks? Our Kicks!
Whose Kicks? Our Kicks!
Whose Kicks? Our Kicks!
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5. |
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We're four runs down in the eighth
The team's all over the place
but anything can happen
Trying to even the score
Feels like we've been here before
and anything can happen
Yeah I know what it looks like
But we don't need no fourth strike, no no
Wild Swings
Wild Flings
They count up all of the votes
We wait in the Bucket and hope
That anything will happen
Must've been some kinda mistake
Oh come on, gimme a break
And make something happen
So many seasons rolling the same dice
But we don't need you to play nice, no no
Wild Swings
Wild Flings
I knew it! We blew it! No, we can do it! Anything will happen!
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6. |
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Love is an
Apartment shared by a Blaseball team
And love is smoking
Weed on a balcony
And it doesn't matter how many stars we lose
Or how many they take
We'll keep fighting for those who choose
To call this city their name-sake
Cus we're
Millennials
We are Millennials and we'll
Raise the avocado again.
We're Millennials
We are Millennials and we'll
Raise the avocado again.
And love is
Losing in the thirteenth inning
And love is taking that
Shame and then winning
And it doesn't matter how many stars we lose
Or how many they take
We'll keep fighting for those who choose
To call this city their name-sake
Cus we're
Millennials
We are Millennials and we'll
Raise the avocado again.
We're Millennials
We are Millennials and we'll
Raise the avocado again.
And love is an apartment
Shared by a Blaseball team
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7. |
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idol at the top of the list
worked their way up with a swing and a kiss
first in the lineup from blessings be gifted
to deserving one
gives us blood and comforting
then steals our hearts and home
everyone loves our Monreal
from the grass outside to the Dome (oh!)
fluttering hearts for Everyone's Boyfriend
stealing the world at the drop of a hat
everyone in Kansas City loves Our Boyfriend
but for everyone else, when the ball hits the bat
YOU BETTER RUN
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8. |
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hey Seattle
I come from Kansas City
we were on a roll
then the Tigers made it stop
and then you came along
and made it right
now the crabs came crawling
it's time for a fight
came from the gutter then got dropped in Mild High
right next to you in the standings fairly high
watched you keep winning while our numbers grew and grew
and I can't help but cheer now that the spotlight is on you
I stick to the minty fresh
but I'm getting closer to seeing the light
open your garages
we're all from Seattle tonight
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9. |
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I can’t believe that the season is over
It felt so short with teammates I love by my side
Early in the morning, sun shines on diamond fields
When the evening moon rises, we’ll throw a party, one more time
And we’re not done yet, just wait until we make the playoffs (in our dreams)
We can always dream
You’re invited to our gathering
Come with your joy and your memories
As we party, I’ll take care of you
Rising vibes will lift you higher than blessings can
The Fridays and their aloha helped make me who I am
And as the night grows late, celebration turns to quiet in the rain
Washing tears away
After we pack up and leave for home
I’ll miss you, but the best has yet to come
Every rainbow’s end is beautiful
See you soon
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10. |
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[tweet tweet tweet]
[tweet]
[tweet tw**t]
[tw**t tweet tw****t]
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11. |
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ur too slow to score on us watch the shot clock
if u roll up get the smoke thats a hot box
blasting shit out of the air like a sawed off
ur getting dunked on by a dude named tot fox
[x2]
got the dreamiest sutton but i dont mean chuck
til nagomi comes out we got a nut to bust
all the other teams think they know whats up
they talk a lot of big game for someone with such a small truck
stackin up dubs cracking into some red ones with buds
bitch ur cappin if u want to take a crack at an attack against the most crackalackin team we got the funds
we got the captains
we get it done
we got the idols
we got the coin
were the main characters might as well join us
ur too slow to score on us watch the shot clock
if u roll up get the smoke thats a hot box
blasting shit out of the air like a sawed off
ur getting dunked on by a dude named tot fox
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12. |
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Came to us from another team
When Patterson left we were quite mean
Like, "Who is this? Let's let Ollie go."
But soon after we felt a spark
Like circuitry lighting up our hearts.
Look at him; he's our good flesh boy.
Problem was, well, you couldn't pitch
So we went all in for the switch.
Blaseball gods, don't let Ollie throw.
So you stepped up to the plate
Right off the bat you were so great
Snip! Snip! Snip! That's our good flesh boy.
You're a key part of our team
And Sutton will keep you in our dreams
Notarobot we proclaim
That you were destined for fame.
Look at you, on to greater things.
Ollie you bat like a machine
Consistent like it's programming.
Another hit! Look at Ollie go!
We idolize you cuz you're the best
Well, actually, that's Forrest, I guess?
Anyways, you're our good flesh boy.
You're a key part of our team
And Sutton will keep you in our dreams
Notarobot we proclaim
That you were destined for fame.
Look at you, on to greater things.
Then you went on a blind date
Garages picked you up at 8
I guess it's time to let Ollie go
We will miss you with our whole hearts
While you're making your musical start
You'll always be our good flesh boy.
You'll always be part of our team
And Sutton will keep you in our dreams
Notarobot we proclaim
That you were destined for fame
Look at you, off the greater things...
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13. |
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The sunny day you passed away
it comes to mind as dark and gray
they say the sadness does that to you
others say that's just the eclipse
guess we'll never know
what's funny to me is that you were really kind of fast
and the ump carried a gas can and a lighter
you took your stance, like you'd done so many times before
and then you died
And now and then I wonder about
how would it have been
if I was there that day and they had tried
to pull that shit on me
(combs, I miss you but you really did let the ball drop on that one, didn't you?)
RIV to you, but I'm different
R.I.V. to you but I'm different
If an ump tried to set me on fire
I'd just dodge and not die
We all wished you were here
when we swept through the league
You'd never guess kid
but we've really come far
Since the day that we traveled back in time
like a whole week
cause of something that you did down there
whatever you are
And I know if dethroning gods
somehow involves stealing bases
you will do it if they let you
though they probably won't
and I find pretty annoying
when I'm trying to sleep
and keep remembering the voices
that came out of your combs
[navy seals copypasta verse]
RIV to you, but I'm different
R.I.V. to you but I'm different
If an ump tried to set me on fire
I'd just dodge and not die
RIV to you, but I'm different
R.I.V. to you but I'm different
If an ump tried to set me on fire
I would simply not die
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14. |
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(Announcer: Next up to bat is Collins Melon,
Recent feedback transfer from the Houston Spies
Let’s see what they’re bringing to the Pocket this afternoon...)
(Chorus)
Melon, I'm a melon
Mellow and swelling
Blatting for the Breckenridge
Jazz Hands
Melon, Collins
I hear you all calling
My favorite fans
Go on, tell 'em
Collins will shell 'em
Walking in the Pocket
With my best friends
Melon, Collins
I hear you all calling
My favorite fans
(Bridge)
You see,
Houston was hot and toasty
And to Comfort the crowd
Breckenridge was ripe for trading
Down to the mound
And now Jazz just got a little bit sweeter
Collins on the stage and you can hear the odds teeter
(Repeat Chorus)
[TRUMPET INTERLUDE BY TAMARA CRANKIT]
(Bridge v2)
I can be a little seedy but that's not a surprise
I used to run laps with a team loaded with spies
But give me a chance and I'll aim to please
By stealing bases daily, getting outs as I sieze em!
Melon, I'm a melon
Mellow and swelling
Blatting for the Breckenridge
Jazz Hands
Melon, Collins
I hear you all calling
My favorite fans
My ripest, sweetest fans
You can catch these hands
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15. |
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Cashmoney Strolling up to bat, ve brings
Wealth to the Pocket, coins flying out vis hat
How does Aldon do it? Well, nobody knows
But ve steps to the plate, not a second too late
And that's just how the story goes.
Oh yeah yeah,
(Chorus)
Idolize Cashmoney, watch vim climb the list,
Idolize Cashmoney, ve's completely peer less
Idolize Cashmoney, compound rate continuous
Idolize Cashmoney!
Cashmoney,
Vis smile’s a million bucks
And the eager paparazzi, always searching for vis mug
A little flex a little stunner, a home run to vis name,
When the Pocket gets sunny ve looks a little funny, hits the blaseball out of frame
Watch out now!
Idolize Cashmoney, it's safer than a government bond
Idolize Cashmoney, better payouts than a 401
Idolize Cashmoney, stocks rising faster than the DOW
When you Idolize Cash Money You put all your dough in the bag now
(organ solo)
Cashmoney, Ain’t with the Hands no more
Seems that
Now ve’s gotten noticed and ve’s going out on tour!
First the Fridays, Now the Tigers, Cash is heavily in demand
But whenever ve’s in town never worry we’ll be found singin this song up in the stands!
Come on, now!
Idolize Cashmoney (ve’s makin it rain in the Pocket)
Idolize Cashmoney (watch those hits shoot off like a rocket)
Idolize Cashmoney (Forget about Pitching Machine Today)
Idolize Cash Money!
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16. |
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(verse 1)
he takes the field like it's just another Whensday morning
knocks the dirt off his cleats and steps into the box
throws an eye to the pitcher and one to the Umpires
rests his bat behind his head
it's dark in the immaterial plane
and a couple of numbers rattle around inside his head
out of fifty-one attempts at a base steal
he's only ever gotten ten
(chorus)
he's Just a Guy
weight of a Bat on his shoulder
will he swing or will he walk?
Just a Guy
weight of the world on his shoulders
will he stand still or will he run around the block
(verse 2)
it's a Single and Jacob Haynes is gonna take a stroll to first base
park it for a second
it's not whether you win or lose
it's how you fight off the Birds swarming you at the stadium
and he's
Already looking at Second
he knows that he should wait but he just can't [REDACTED] help himself
he decides to risk it as he often does
he follows his Captain's advice: be gay, do crimes
(chorus)
(verse 3)
Jacob skids to a stop at Second base
looks and makes sure that -- for the moment -- he is safe
he squints and shoots a glance to the bat boy, who is
holding a spare bat: just in case...
the voice inside his head sounds suspiciously like Matt Damon
he peers up at the ring of light where the sun should be
"if we can get through Inning 9 without incineration
please, don't let it be up to me."
(chorus)
(repeat chorus)
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17. |
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18. |
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Ashes to ashes, dirt to sprout
Once again we are without
Umpires to flowers, like moths to a flame,
We will never be the same
Though she’s gone do not despair
Embrace the pollen in the air
Our Lotus, though gone without a doubt
We won’t rest until the flowers sprout
By the dugout now is her favorite place
She gives us roses when we steal a base
Our Lotus isn’t gone she’s just right here
We’re the Flowers and we have no fear
Our Lotus
She’s right here oh
Our Lotus
Bringing us all cheer
Our Lotus
She’s right here oh
Our Lotus
Bringing us all cheer
With Beck gone now, she’s not quite here
She’s lost some of her former cheer
We thought maybe it’s the sunshine but it’s not clear
The dugout gets full sun for the entire year
Miami sure is nice, but only one can go
Beck’s not here as much but when she is oh
We know she’s spending time with our lotus friend
Cuz she’s always in full bloom at the end
By the dugout now is her favorite place
She gives us roses when we steal a base
Our Lotus isn’t gone she’s just right here
We’re the Flowers and we have no fear
Our Lotus
She’s right here oh
Our Lotus
Bringing us all cheer
Our Lotus
She’s right here oh
Our Lotus
Bringing us all cheer
*Sax Solo*
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19. |
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A beautiful day at the Yellowstone National Ballpark,
The moss was growing calmly on the bark,
I'd been stuck waiting in line at the concessions stand
And when I got back to my seat, hotdog in hand
My friends said
You wont believe it!
I took a picture!
Of what just happened with our normal human pitcher!
Inky Rutledge... threw a no hitter?
[Chorus]
Inky threw a no hitter
Inky threw a no hitter
I guess we should've known better
'Cause Inky's such a go-getter
Playing with the Fridays is always fun,
But Inky wouldn't let them score a single run,
And sure he gave out a couple of walks,
You know that doesn't me we shouldn't talk
About how Inky.
Inky? x7
Inky Rutledge... threw TWO no hitters?
[Chorus]
With his pregame ritual,
He can do no wrong,
So get it on and bang that gong!
[gonging]
[Chorus]
Two no hitters in one season... Huh.
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20. |
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21. |
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VERSE 1
D A Asus4 A
We’ve been here once or twice before
D A Asus4 A
They raise the roof, let’s raise the floor
D A Asus4 A
No-one is betting on the Pies
D A Asus4 A
But pretty soon, our time will rise
D A
It’s true this season isn’t going so well (Uh-oh!)
D Dm G
And we’ve got Jessica Telephone stuck inside of a shell (Oh no!)
CHORUS
C F Dm
But we are updogs
C F Dm
Yeah we are updogs
C F Dm F G
Yeah we are updogs
VERSE 2
D A Asus4 A
They burned the Forrest and the Woods
D A Asus4 A
But we’re okay, we’ve got the goods
D A Asus4 A
They put a shell on Telephone
D A Asus4 A
Why can’t the gods leave us alone?
D A
A couple incinerations got us down on our luck (That sucks!)
D Dm G
We’re going full-on Joker and we don’t! give! up!
CHORUS
C F Dm
‘Cause we are updogs
C F Dm
Yeah we are updogs
C F Dm F G
Yeah we are updogs
VERSE 3
D A Asus4 A
So what if we’ve gone first to last
D A Asus4 A
We’ll leave it all, it’s in the past
D A Asus4 A
A little tanking never hurt
D A Asus4 A
We’ll pick ourselves up off the dirt
D A
And we’re swinging our bats to send those cats back to hell (Oh yes!)
D Dm G
Now that Jessica Telephone’s coming out of her shell (Go Jess!)
CHORUS
C F Dm
‘Cause we are updogs
C F Dm
Yeah we are updogs
C F Dm F G
Yeah we are updogs
REPEAT CHORUS
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22. |
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Note: This song was inspired by the Pies Discord riffing on a less-wholesome but still lovable version of Jessica Telephone, specifically conceived as a teenager from the late 1990s (or perhaps the 2080s with heavy late-1990s influences). This version of JT inspired a set of wiki edits that generated much discourse, and was ultimately reconciled into lore via a combination of the Interdimensional Rumor Mill and a storyline about the effects of a personified time-traveling quantum waveform being trapped inside a peanut shell by an eldritch legume god.
VERSE 1
A
Jessica Telephone always
A
wished that she could be good
A G D
at something other than blaseball
A
Jessica Telephone never
A
thought that she’d be stuck
A G D
inside of a gigantic peanut
A
While inside the peanut
A
Jessica decided to learn
A G D
all the words to the song Rap God
A
When she came back out
A
everyone was surprised to learn
A G D
that Jessica was now a dirtbag
BRIDGE
C G D
C G D
C G D
C F D
VERSE 2
A
Jessica was pecked free
A
of the shell by birds
A G D
and when she busted out yeah it was so cool
A
From that day Jessica
A
became the envy of all the other
A G D
kids who went to her school
A
Anyone who listens
A
Jessica shows them how she learned
A G D
every word to the song Rap God
A
Now she’s shelled again and it’s
A
anyone’s guess what song she’s gonna
A G D
come out knowing this time
BRIDGE
C G D
C G D
C G D
C F D
CODA
A
A
A G D G D G D A
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23. |
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VERSE 1
D A C
Mickey Woods will never die
D A C
Mickey Woods will never die
D A C
Mickey Woods will never die
A C
Never die
A C
Never die
BRIDGE
G C A D A D
G C D A D A
VERSE 2
D A C
Mickey Woods will never die
D A C
Mickey Woods will never die
D A C
Mickey Woods will never die
A C
Never die
A C
Never die
VERSE 3
D A C D A C
Except she did
D A C
Except she did
D A
And she’s in hell
CODA
D A C A
Mickey Woods will never die in hell
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24. |
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[Intro]
He is the greatest and best player in the league...
The Don
[Verse 1]
Long time ago, Don and his cronies here
They were collecting dues, from all the men that owed
All of a sudden, there shined a shiny knight
In the middle of the starbucks
And he said
"Play the best ball in the world
Or I'll end you all"
Well, the Don and Knight
They looked at each other
And then Don said
"Okay"
And he swung at the first thing
That was thrown at his head
He Just so happened to be
The best player in the league
He was the best player in the league
[Verse 2]
Look into his eyes
And it's easy to see
One and one make two
Two and one make three
It was destiny
Once every hundred-thousand games or so
When the sun don’t shine
But the moon doth glow
And the noise doth grow
[Verse 2]
Needless to say
The Knight was stunned
A clicky-clack went his chain mail
And the Knight was done
He asked Don
"Hey...
Wanna team up?"
And the Don said
"Sure
That sounds like fun!"
Play
Baaaal, ahhh, ahhh-ah-ah
Ohhh, whoah
Ah-whoah-oh
[Verse 2]
He’s not yet
The greatest player in the world, no
Just in the league
Couldn't afford
The greatest player in the world, no, no
Just in the league, oh
To the greatest con man on the team
Ooo~h
You’re the greatest player in the league
Alright
Yeah you’re the best motherheckin' Don
[Bridge: 2-part scat]
Ah-rah, dee
Soo-guh-goo-gee-goo-gee
Goo-guh fli-goo gee-goo
Guh fli-goo, ga-goo-buh-dee
Ooh, guh-goo-bee
Ooh-guh-guh-bee-guh-guh-bee
Fli-goo gee-goo
A-fliguh woo-wa mama San Fr’isco!
[Interlude]
And the peculiar thing is this my friends
The Don that steps up to plate and bats
The truth is it isn’t actually just one Don! - 13 syllables
[Verse 2]
This is just a tribute
You've got to believe me
And I wish you were there
It’s not just an opinion
Ah, heck!
Good Gods
Gods love him
So surprised to find you can't stop him
Check your wallets, they’re gone
Rich motherhecker, ka-chug
Alright
AlrightDon Mitchell is the Greatest Player in the League
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25. |
Hades Tigers - Eclipse
03:47
|
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|
Why so quiet now?
Go ahead, we’re waiting
Have you forgotten how?
Or is your courage fading?
I paint my stripes on
I name each scar
'Cause now I see you for the coward that you are
Go on and take a swing
I’ll be right here, ready
You’ve taken everything
So why not take just one more swing
So now it’s almost dusk
Why are your claws so clammy?
Is it because your brothers husk
Is lying in Miami?
I’ve always lived by
Never Look Back
But now in front of me, I only see the word, “ATTACK.”
Go on and take a swing
I’ll be right here, ready
You’ve taken everything
So why not take just one more swing
Go on and take a swing
I’ll be right here, ready
You’ve taken everything
So why not take just one more swing
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26. |
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|
¡Dale!
|
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the garages Seattle, Washington
if you want an album for free, for any reason, email thegarages@fourth-strike.com
we are the
garages, an anarcho-syndicalist blaseball band from the fictional location of seattle. we make songs about being gay, the apocalypse, and fighting the gods.
... more
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The lofi-garage group returns with an album filled with rock pop jams.
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featured on Bandcamp Radio Nov 18, 2014
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See the World on Fire
by the Ar-Kaics
On their first new record in six years, the Virginia garage punkers take on the end of the world with the requisite clang and clamor.
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The Adventure Zone: The Suffering Game OST
by Griffin McElroy
supported by 38 fans who also own “AWAY GAMES”
Nearly a decade late to the Taz party, but I’m so glad to be aware of it now! I don’t know what elixir Griffin put into the album but I would like to drink a gallon of it.
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