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1. |
diary entry 7/15 - 7/28
01:51
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Broadcast 1, July 15
Hi everyone! whoever’s listening. I uhhh just woke up here, in what I can only assume is outer space, as the view outside my window on this fine morning is the in-between of Sol and Alpha Centauri. From here I can see faintly our glowing star that we call home, and the galactic core, not so far away.
Broadcast 5, July 20
Good evening listeners, it’s me, Alice, once again. It’s been about five days since I’ve been up here all alone, and I must say, I love the peace and quiet that you get out here. Really gives you space to think about a lot of things. Oh, I should mention: I noticed something out of the corner of my eye yesterday. It was a star, but all of a sudden I saw a flash and a beautiful supernova formed before my very eyes! This universe sure is wonderful.
Broadcast 7, July 22
I’m sure the math can’t be right…. Two weeks? One, now. One week, one week… and then what?
Broadcast 12, July 27
I know I’ve said the universe is going to end. I’m sure you’ve heard my findings and have started talking about them. I hope I’m wrong listeners, I really do. But you need to know that this is a possibility, you need to know. I need to tell you. What else am I here for?
Broadcast 13, July 28
Oh my god. They’re not going to hear it. Nobody’s going to hear it. Nobody’s been listening. This whole time, no one’s been listening. I’m the only one who knows.
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2. |
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Light moves ever so slowly
And i’m stuck in a tin can
Floating, i’m just floating
Radio waves sent to space
Reach earth in twenty days
I’ll be gone then, I’ll be gone
All our worlds will end
All my time is burning
Piles of old clothes line the floor
I don’t know who came before
I did, oh I did
Floating in space between the
Stars, I can't seem to see my
Home now, my home now
All our worlds will end
All my time is burning
We shine as brightly as we may
Short wicks on a small stage
Watch us as we burn, watch us as we burn
You won't hear me cry
Light moves ever so slowly, light moves ever so slowly light moves ever so slowly,
And I’m stuck in a tin can, I’m stuck in a tin can, I’m stuck in a tin can, I’m floating, I’m floating
Radio, radio, radio waves reach earth in fourteen days, reach earth in twenty days, reach earth in twenty-four
I’ll be gone then, I’ll be gone then, I’ll be gone then, I’ll be gone in twenty days, I’ll be gone, oh
All our worlds will end, all my time is burning
All our worlds will end, all our worlds will end
I’ll be gone then, I’ll be gone, I’ll be gone, I’ll be gone,
I’ll be gone then, I’ll be gone, I’ll be gone
If anyone’s out there somewhere between me and earth
Or somewhere far out in the dark places
I hope my voice has brought you some comfort
For one last time, this is Alice, at the end of everything
Signing off
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3. |
will
04:00
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i know my chances are low
i’m just one speck above the circuit board
real small
but i’m not dying here
i’m searching for a way out
i’ll keep searching for a way out
i know my chances are gone
odds almost one thousand hundred to one
but while there’s still one
one shot
i’m searching for a way out
i’ll keep searching for a way out
two weeks
two weeks until the end
two weeks til the clock stops
the votes come in
the votes come in
the votes come in
the votes come in
the votes come in
the votes come in
the votes come in
the votes come in
the votes come in (take me)
the votes come in (choose me)
the votes come in (free me)
the votes come in (take me)
the votes come in (choose me)
the votes come in (free me)
the votes come in (take me)
the votes come in (choose me) ((no time for goodbyes))
the votes come in (free me) ((not sure what i’ll find))
the votes come in (take me) ((see you on the other side))
the votes come in (choose me) ((no time for goodbyes))
the votes come in (free me) ((not sure what i’ll find))
the votes come in (take me) ((see you on the other side)) (((leave me be)))
the votes come in (choose me) ((no time for goodbyes)) (((let me go)))
the votes come in (free me) ((not sure what i’ll find)) (((leave me be)))
the votes come in (take me) ((see you on the other side)) (((let me go)))
the votes come in
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4. |
STRIKEOUT!
02:14
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(5,6,7,8, who do we appreciate?)
it's a brand new season, a brand new circuit
the gods are watching me on the field (no pressure!)
my moxie is low, so is my shakespeareanism
but i'm still a part of the team i guess...
i can't hit the pitches when i'm batting with my right hand
and i'm even worse with my left
i thought i signed up for college basketball
i guess i didn't read the fine print
now all i do is miss the ball and strike out, baby
all i do is strike out
i thought i was gonna make my mother proud, baby
but all i do is strike out
ha haa
all i do is strike out
yeah, i'm not even sure why they picked me
last sunday, i was hanging in washington
but then monday rolls around and i am playing in missouri
and now i'm sweaty, and nervous, my limbs are shaking
and my uniform is slightly damp
when my horoscope said that "my life would be changed"
i thought it meant that i would get to play college basketball
but i'm here, and i hear them call my name
i guess i should go
now all i do is miss the ball and strike out, baby
all i do is strike out
i thought i was gonna make my mother proud, baby
but all i do is strike out
i hope my mom isn't listening to this
i'm very bad at blaseball, but you could probably tell that from my everything!
(batter up, bend your knees, miss the ball and strike out) x16
NOW ALL I DO IS MISS THE BALL AND STRIKE OUT, BABY
ALL I DO IS STRIKE OUT
I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA MAKE MY MOTHER PROUD, BABY
BUT ALL I DO IS STRIKE OUT
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5. |
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[space. do you know how big space is? it’s around one hundred miles in diameter. that’s how big space is. there’s nothing beyond that we checked. we’re trapped inside a fucking bubble and i want to get out. anyways. the scale of the universe is such. watch as i zoom out this fancy tv graphic. observe the tiny particles of static and antistatic
now we come to the bigass fucking microphone in the sky. i am scared of it. i feel like we exist at its whim. do you see the wire at its base? it wraps around the entire universe
see how the bits of static combine to form crystalline structures. we call them snowflakes. they are each unique, and form impossibly many permutations. observe the incredible beauty of nature. one time while i was pitching they blew into my face and it was cold as fuck
do you see the sun? do you see how it is being eclipsed by a giant, unknown object? it is unclear to cosmologists what could cause this phenomenon, as the concept of orbit has been destroyed. sometimes eclipses kill you. death is a natural part of life
a new weather phenomena has occurred called Peanut. the legumes we know as "peanuts" come falling from the sky in a violent manner, scaring everyone shitless. they are edible, i tried one, and it was the most delicious thing i have ever tasted. anyways. there is another god in the sky that calls my name. i do not want to listen to it, for it does not abide by science, but nothing in this world makes sense anymore, so fuck it all, i guess.
historians tell of a place called the hall of flame. a repository for the dead, located somewhere called the trench. at some point in our past the hall was obscured from us. i don’t know where you go when you die anymore. this is scary because change is always scary. but being alive is also a state of constant change.]
legume, legume
the mighty one has chosen you
eat ambrosia, drink the wine
your power will come to you in time
weaker ones have tried and failed
but where they falter you prevail
so bring me your strength and bring your smile
and bring the Shelled One to it's prime!
the hour will come when you will know (hoop ii is when you will know)
when you're needed and must go (you are needed and must go)
so prep your family, say goodbye (tell all of your friends goodbye)
for the sake of peace they all may die
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6. |
two week world
04:21
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the universe will give you life
then turn you around
throw you into the wild and say
go and figure it out
play by the rules as much as you can
til you learn with age
what you can’t do and then
try and make a change
but when the world lasts two weeks
you don’t get far
when the suns forms and burns out in fourteen days
all you can hope to be is someone else’s star
in someone else’s sky a trillion miles away
a googleplex of years down the road
maybe one day our light will guide someone home
we do our best to make meaning
that means something
that leaves a mark that’s bigger
than the shapes we’re in
we make some friends and tell ‘em
how we love ‘em so
and we fight to make a space
in which our kids can grow
but when the world lasts two weeks
you don’t get far
when the suns forms and burns out in fourteen days
all you can hope to be is someone else’s star
in someone else’s sky a trillion miles away
a googleplex of years down the road
maybe one day our light will guide someone home
things were here before me
and they’ll still stay here when i’m gone
all the time i get is here and now
blink and it’s over
the candle wax is running low
if all i got is what i’ve got
then i’m gonna make it count
when the world lasts two weeks
you don’t get far
when the suns forms and burns out in fourteen days
all you can hope to be is someone else’s star
in someone else’s sky a trillion miles away
a googleplex of years down the road
maybe one day our light will guide someone home
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7. |
just bad
03:35
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we're the worst band you've heard in your life
twenty plus members, over five hundred tracks that nobody remembers
and events where we unprepared just kinda nod and stare
and mime playing guitar in front of gamer chairs
as the neighbors glare
at our failures they're never gonna hear none of our labor played
over the radio waves
are you not entertained?
we cannot pay for it but we'll drop another tape
we'll suck forever
we're back together
on the attack, whether or not you heard the last track
awful like that
we're like the Netherlands weather in that just like it we're bad
i take no pleasure in announcing the facts
we're the garages
the grajizz, the band that sabotages
its own career with every new premiere
we can't afford good gear
for every chord you cheer for
we played a million that would make nobody want to hear more
we suck
we're just bad
we suck
i'll leave it at that
this is not about the game
but we suck at it too, it's in the name
every record's the same
it's sad what became of our claim to fame
we're just another boring soundcloud wannabe band
we're just a value lower bound for talent-free brands
and frankly our sound is terribly bland
i'm not allowed to swear
but fuck the second chair
we don't even have a first one far as anyone cares
so with the kick and snare and running short on air
i try to get across the point that nothing quite compares
to just how bad we are and how i can't spit bars
and how the band members are the band's only fans
did i say only fans? that'd make more money than
tryin' to market our music with a vinyl plan
cause frankly anyone who can name more than one
garages song probably is already in the band
we suck
we're just bad
we suck
i'll leave it at that
[slap solo]
we suck
(we've never been good)
we're just bad
(just bad!)
we suck
(all of us!)
i'll leave it at that
(at that at that at that)
we suck
(we suck)
we're just bad
(just bad just bad just bad)
we suck
(always have)
i'll leave it at that
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the garages Seattle, Washington
if you want an album for free, for any reason, email thegarages@fourth-strike.com
we are the
garages, an anarcho-syndicalist blaseball band from the fictional location of seattle. we make songs about being gay, the apocalypse, and fighting the gods.
... more
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