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Charleston Shoe Thieves - Top 10 Tillman Henderson Moments That ACTUALLY Happened

from Reunion Tour by the garages

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lyrics

Haters, fans, and gods
Try to tell me what to do
But I’ve got in my airpods
And I’m stealing your shoes

I do it just for kicks
I am like a bad tattoo
And I need some money quick
Can I borrow off of you?

I’m number 14 with all the ways I’m going ghost
And I’m possessing all the mediums to bat real good
And I’m not rhyming on purpose just to piss you off
Is it working? Ha ha ha ha ha ha

Incinerate me once
They tried to put me in the ground
Necromance me twice
There’s enough shame to go around

I’m the best player ever
I’m the gift that keeps on giving
Before you forget
You voted for me to rejoin the living

They say that I’m a heel
But I’d never play support
I shut all the batters out
And their playing time’s cut short

Dodging texts and dodging balls
Blocking numbers at the source
Suddenly back in the hall
The Returned mod reinforced

They’re boosting my ego as some kind of funny joke
And I’m picking the lock and I am getting in the vault
And now you can’t touch me cuz I’m sitting safe inside
Are you mad bro? Ha ha ha ha ha ha

Incinerate me once
They tried to put me in the ground
Necromance me twice
There’s enough shame to go around

I’m the best player ever
I’m the gift that keeps on giving
Before you forget
You voted for me to rejoin the living

Try to contain it, keep it in, but you know you love me
Check the facts, check the site, I’m all over your feed
And you’re like “dang, how’m I gonna get my 50 bucks back now?”
Do I deserve all the hate when all I do is wow?

And these players don’t have a satisfying story arc
While the sim matches my image
slim chances they catch my pitches
But I nail it every time

the ball goes past the bat, and fat stacks
for my stans who back me, Don’t @ me
Running fast like a track meet, triathlete
Consumers don’t attack me

You know I’m unkillable
That I’m un-get-rid-able
You say to shut up but you’re actually hanging onto all my syllables

Incinerate me once
They tried to put me in the ground
Necromance me twice
There’s enough shame to go around

I’m the best player ever
I’m the gift that keeps on giving
Before you forget
You voted for me to rejoin the living

I’m the biggest jerk ever
I’m the gift you keep regifting
Before you regret
You voted for me to rejoin the living

I’m the worst guy on the roster
As far as you can tell
So do me a favor
Get tillmaned lol

credits

from Reunion Tour, released April 8, 2022
written and produced by Mahal Perez (@mxmahal)
vocals - max uh million
drums - Jim Casson
guitar - em grace (@UndeniableEmG)

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

the garages Seattle, Washington

if you want an album for free, for any reason, email thegarages@fourth-strike.com

we are the garages, an anarcho-syndicalist blaseball band from the fictional location of seattle. we make songs about being gay, the apocalypse, and fighting the gods. ... more

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