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1. |
my name is mike
02:55
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My Name is Mike
Well I’m sat outside the clubhouse
Cause my band mates locked me out
They said I’m not really a part of it
Because I can’t pitch three straight outs
I’m just here due to a contract
They say I can’t write a song
Well since when is playing blaseball
Not a place we all belong?
My name is Mike.... Townsend
And I can play music
I can play music
My name is Mike.... Townsend
And I play music
And I can throw a ball
It’s a sad state of affairs when
A name on a dotted line
Is the only thing preventing me
Taking back some time
Some times I wish I were a Jazz Hand
Or I stared into the sun
Maybe then the fans would love me
Maybe then I’d have some fun
Till then I’m Mike... Townsend
And I play music
Yea I play music
Yea I’m Mike Townsend
And I play music
And I can throw a ball, blaseball
All the fans seem to want for me
Is to grow ten thousand thumbs
They never asked for my opinion
What if I want blaseball guns?
Maybe if I grew a third arm
I could steal the fandom’s heart
Till then I’ll keep showing up
Til the umps put my soul in park
In park
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2. |
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i've an apology i need to make to you
cause i was underestimating all that you could do
we can't know what you've got, or what's coming next
i just can't wait to see you get into your eight-legged mech
and i admit i got a little caught up
cause after all, you didn't disappoint me that much
mike townsend is a credit to the team
like a laser beam
we fire at the sun
mike townsend is a credit to the team
yeah, you're not just a meme
when all is said and done
your redemption arc is coming up!
i made a mistake, i downplayed your credentials,
i did not realise all of mike townsend's p-p-potential
and we can leave what's in the past as antecedent
cause i can't put your vibes down when they're "most excellent"
and i admit i got a little caught up
cause after all, you didn't disappoint me that much
mike townsend is a credit to the team
he needs a theme
that goes like "na na na na na na"
mike townsend is a credit to the team
man of our dreams
y'know, he's gonna save us all
yeah, your redemption arc is coming up!
when the time comes round, it's not an accident
that mike will be there with his mech gun pointed heaven-sent
and from his cockpit high, he will rain down blows
and if the gods survive is something only townsend knows
and i admit i got a little caught up
mike townsend is a credit to the team
it's not extreme
to say he's beaten all the odds
mike townsend is a credit to the team
and i believe
he's gonna end all of the gods
yeah, your redemption arc is coming up!
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3. |
underdog
02:18
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The field is green and gray
The birds fly low today
Stepping up, grabbing the bat
Take a deep breath, don’t hold back
Maybe we’ll lose
We got something to prove
We’re going to fight
Yeah this dog’s got a bite
One day we’ll win and
We’ll buy you all dinner
So go take your shot yeah
No matter the cost
From me to you
The ball flies over the field
Your pulse begins to sprint
Peanuts flying in the wind
All your instincts kicking in
Maybe we’ll lose
We got something to prove
We’re going to fight
Yeah this dog’s got a bite
One day we’ll win and
We’ll buy you all dinner
No matter the cost
Just step up, take your shot
From me to you
We’re gonna make it through
We’re gonna make it through
We’re gonna make it through
We’re gonna make it through
We’re gonna make it through
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4. |
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You want it I’ve got it
Arturo in the pocket
Batter’s worst nightmare
Arturo, Arturo, Arturo,
Chant my name though I might not be there
Can’t see me, Can’t hear me, just a vague feeling
Coming from the pitching square
It’s Arturo, Arturo, Huertas
Arturo, Arturo, Huertas
We don’t have to play these games
You won’t know who threw the ball til the ball is through the strike frame
Swing batter, swing batter, swing I dare you
You will never hit this fastball
It looks easy
Pitching a strike
And then pitching a strike
And then pitching again
But you believe me
I worked hard
Shaping these marshmallow
Muscles into a real
Killing machine
Have you seen die hard?
I’m like the blaseball John McClane
Til I’m dead, throwing curveballs cross the Astral Plane
Yippie Kie Yay
I seem scary
But I’ve got a soft side
A Marshmallow heart
Made of sugary gold
For my teammates I’m
Willing to
Throw both these gelatin
Hands, mess with them, you will
Get knocked out cold
Don’t you forget
The name’s Henry Marshmallow
The most beautiful man with a saccharine soul
Don’t you ever forget
The name’s Henry Marshmallow
A true champion, with a hardened sugar mold
It’s Henry Marshmallow, the world’s greatest pitcher in all of blaseball!
It’s Henry Marshmallow, the world’s greatest pitcher in all of blaseball!
La la la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la la la la.
La la la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la la la la.
La la la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la la la la.
La la la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la la la la.
These hands could
Deliver baseballs
To thousands of catchers
And never meet a bat
That’s a new poem
I just wrote
It’s about pitching
I’m so good at pitching
I’m the MVM…
MOST VALUABLE
MARSHMALLOW MAN IN THE LEAGUE!
Plus some humans think I’m a deity
Who am I to argue?
I think that I’m pretty rare.
I’m a sentient marshmallow with perfect hair
Here’s my song again
It’s Henry Marshmallow, the world’s greatest pitcher in all of blaseball!
It’s Henry Marshmallow, the world’s greatest pitcher in all of blaseball!
La la la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la la la la.
La la la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la la la la.
La la la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la la la la.
La la la la la, la la la, la la la, la la la la la la.
One two three four!
Thank you, thank you! Thanks to my backing band the mini marshmallows! They’re unionized now, I hate it! You might not know me, but my name is Henry Marshmallow, pitcher for the Seattle Garages, established baritone, aspiring tenor, but most of all, an INCREDIBLE athlete. And I always have been, though I have to tell you I used to be made fun of all the time for my marshmallow condition- I’m a marshmallow, in case you didn’t know. Actually in the minor leagues, I’d get heckled from the stands, like “HEY MARSHMALLOW MAN! WERE GONNA ROAST YOU! WERE GONNA MAKE YOU INTO A SMORE!” And eventually I had it up to here and yelled back “YOU KNOW WHAT, DUDE I DARE YOU. IF YOU TRIED TO MAKE ME A SMORE AND EAT ME, YOUR BODY WOULD NEED TO BE, LIKE, 20% INSULIN! SO YOU CAN TRY AND MAKE ME A SMORE BUT IM GONNA LIKE WRECK YOUR PANCREAS IF YOU DO!” So then they’d be pretty quiet- just a sec, my publicist wants to talk... Okay, good news, I have decided to apologize, and I’m going to make a large donation to the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. Shout out to everyone with Type one diabetes- Nick Jonas, Ethan Geller, Justice Sonia Sotomayor, all champions in my opinion.
Ok I have one more thing to say actually- if it was me at the end of Ghostbusters instead of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man I would’ve won. Bill Murray would be like “ah man we were gonna ghostbust you but you’re like really chill! Do you want to make more movies with me?” Then I would’ve been a movie star, maybe even become president- then Reagan would’ve only had one term, Iran Contra wouldn’t have happened, I would defund the CIA, the entire geopolitical landscape would be- OK, my publicist is now telling me I REALLY need to stop talking, thank you all, I’m Henry Marshmallow, good night, and GO GARAGES! PARK IT! Yeah, how was that?
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5. |
avila's sad
03:04
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I don’t always fall for the 8th dimensional player
It’s only when I think they’re cute
And folks may tell you that I’m a type of player
But Parker I just think you’re really cute
When I tried to ask you on that date
I thought you didn’t know it was a date
But at the end of that date
You said you had a great date
And your hug was weak
But felt safe when I was with you
It was only a week
but I had fallen deep for you
Please avila stop doing this to yourself
Please avila stop doing this to yourself
Please avila stop doing this to yourself
I need to stop doing this to myself
We’d been dating 2 weeks when you called me
I was cooking chili with no meat
But I nearly dropped it on the floor before me
When you said where you wanted to meet
You said to meet you at starbuck
You didn’t know that I hate starbucks
But I still went to that starbucks
Cause I liked you more than I hate starbucks
So when You said it’s not working out I said I don’t know what you mean
I looked up and you were walking out I remembered love could be so mean
Please avila stop doing this to yourself
Please avila stop doing this to yourself
Please avila stop doing this to yourself
I need to stop doing this to myself
Your iced latte is melting
Ands my espresso’s getting cold
My Caffeine high has crashed and I’m crying in a starbucks
And I’m over this sad whiny song makes me
Sad
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6. |
nail to the heart
02:56
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I met her in line at the 7-11
we were a thousand miles from Utah
and a long long way from heaven
she bought a pack of American Spirits
and a black eyeliner pen
my heart was pounding, but she didn’t hear it
it’ll never beat that loudly again
Allison
how can we be so far apart?
Allison
you put a nail through my blaseball heart
in the halo of the stadium light
you looked like you might just take flight
outta here
she said “we have what it takes to win”
her fist clenched as she said it
the lightning crackled underneath her skin
if there’s a god, then she didn’t fear it
if there’s salvation, she would sin
she said “the world changed, did you hear it?
it won’t be this good again”
Allison
I see you shining in the dark
Allison
you hit a nail right through the park
in the halo of the stadium light
you looked like you might just take flight
outta here
and she said
“someday i’ll find out what’s the best in me
be more than what they say is blessed in me”
and I said
“let’s leave this team in the northwest and we
can leave the triples up to Destiny”
Allison
how can we be so far apart?
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7. |
kichiro
02:40
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Kichiro, I love you
Yeah you take my breath away
And your smile just melts right through me
Wanna see it every day
Got so many things to ask you
like is anime a splort
but the only time we meet is at the court
Your team is so lucky to have you
yeah you’re San Franciscos star
But at times like these Seattle seems so far
I love you, I need you
I just wanna breathe you
They fight us, they kill us
The umpires grill us
But we love and we fight
‘til the end of the night
And you’re here, and I’m here
That’s all clear, that’s all clear
Kichiro, I love you
But I wonder for how long
Maybe you’ll disappear like Cash did
Maybe I’m the one who gets gone
Give me a reason
and I’ll start to pack my bags
I will move to San Francisco just like that
Maybe I’m dreaming
But I’ll be there by your side
Yeah I think that’s what I’ll do if we’re alive
I love you, I need you
I just wanna breathe you
They fight us, they kill us
The umpires grill us
But we love, and we fight
‘til the end of the night
and you’re here, and I’m here
That’s all clear, that’s all clear
As the sun will die
Dreams of you and I
As the sun will die
Dreams of you and I
and the moon will fry
Dreams of you and I
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the garages Seattle, Washington
if you want an album for free, for any reason, email thegarages@fourth-strike.com
we are the
garages, an anarcho-syndicalist blaseball band from the fictional location of seattle. we make songs about being gay, the apocalypse, and fighting the gods.
... more
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